The Prince Poldi Paradox

Article by e-Arsenal Correspondent Timothy Nolan

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Based solely on personality and off the pitch behaviour, who is your favourite man donning an Arsenal shirt?

If this question were to be polled, who would win? The answer would be obvious to me: Lukas Podolski. Endearingly called Prince Poldi, is by far the most popular man on the team. His social media addiction paired with his infectious smile, charming charisma, and catchphrase, “AHA!” can turn the most solemn football fan’s frown right around.

What a personality. In just about every Instagram shot from the Official Arsenal account, Poldi can be seen grinning ear to ear. Combined with his team spirit and rallying tweets, it’s legitimately impossible to not love the guy. But herein lies the Poldi Paradox:

Lukas Podolsi: Regular German International. In fact, he’s so regular, he’s officially the youngest German to ever reach 100 caps! That’s unbelievable, with the footballing history that the Germans have. On top of his high cap tally is the fact that he’s the living, breathing definition of clinician. What a rocket of a left foot. He can generate a screamer from nothing (check out that 1-1 draw at the Allianz Arena from our last match against Bayern…or any Poldi Goal compilation on YouTube if you don’t believe me). Köln, München, and Arsenal fans will not dispute that. Paraphrasing Wenger, “Lukas takes one shot and scores one goal.” To say Goldi Poldi isn’t one of the most talented footballers out there is an utter lie.

There’s one minor problem, he suffers from the footballer’s worst nightmare:

Laziness.

I understand why Wenger prefers him on the bench for the first 70. Whenever Poldi starts, it’s as if we’re playing with ten men. Too lazy to get up and down the wing, he leaves Kieran Gibbs/Nacho Monreal for dead on the flank. On offence, he doesn’t even seem keen either! It’s the strangest thing, it’s as if he’s bored or something out there, something a man who is paid tens of thousands of pounds sterling weekly to play sport should never be. Time and time again, Podolski has been dropped, only to be lacklustre when thrown back into the Starting XI.

From the substitute bench, the story is entirely different. If you put Lukas on at any time in the final 20 minutes of a match, Arsenal always look like they have a goal in them. Poldi is tenacious on the wing after coming on as a super-sub. You can see him everywhere: on the ball, teaming with Gibbs or Nacho, making runs…it’s as if he’s trying to prove that he’s capable of playing 90 minutes. To be fair to him, everyone, including the Boss is pro-Poldi-in-the-starting-XI after a particularly successful substitute appearance.

Why don’t his starts live up to his substitute appearances? Why doesn’t he show that laziness when he’s subbed on? Maybe he’s just not fit to play a whole 90? There were certainly rumours that in his childhood town in Germany, the timer froze after 70-ish minutes…clearly a farcical tale, but after seeing Lukas regularly for nearly two years, the story is practically believable. Fitness should never be a question for a top-tier footballer. That’s their job, after all. Frankly, I maintain it’s simply laziness. But it’s not even as if he starts the matches strong, when he starts he tends not to show up for the whole time (with the exception of the odd goal or two). Is he not used to the pace of the Prem? Certainly is, he’s an absolute tank for the German National team, regardless of the opponent.

That, my friends, is the Prince Poldi Paradox. To say Poldi has had a terrible time at Arsenal is a lie, but I certainly expected more. This, strangely enough, is Podolski’s second stint with a “top-top” tier club. The first was, of course, with Bayern. He seemed to have the same problem he’s having now, and was never resigned after his three-year contract came to an end. During his two stints at Cologne, he proved that he is capable of being “that guy,” the one who puts the team on his back. Haven’t seen too much of that from the Prince here at Arsenal.

Poldi, I love ‘im, but would it be best for both parties to go their separate ways come summertime? He’s the perfect super-sub for our club, but does he want to be something more than just that? I don’t see him getting it here, unfortunately. Maybe he and “other Lukasz” Fabianski will end up somewhere like Schalke next year? I’m not sure of the rivalries in Germany, but S04 would be a great fit, and even without Draxler (swap deal?), they would still have some really good talent in the ranks, with the likes of Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Kevin Prince-Boateng in the XI.

No matter what happens next year, I wish him luck, and hope he scores goal after goal. Who knows, maybe this whole thing will sort itself out and we’ll see him at the Emirates next year (that’s what I hope). No matter what, he’ll always be a Fußballspielergott.

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